This is a really loving description of all your siblings and their struggles. Having a phobia means that you relinquish all responsibility and go back to a childlike state where someone else has to take care of you. I believe that I developed a phobia because the only time my mother showed me any attention was when I was sick. Then one day, coming back from a holiday, I had the first of many panic attacks. She was an evil woman who abused my two lovely sisters but ignored me throughout my life.
CHILDREN CANT CHOOSE THEIR PARENTS MANGAO HOW TO
When she died, I did not know how to react. I knew then that somehow, I was immune from the abuse. I expected an uproar, but she just said, ‘ Don’t worry, it was an accident’. One day as I was carrying the tea, I dropped the cup. She had a strict routine that had to be followed.įor instance, every teatime, one of us had to make her a cup of tea, in her favourite bone china teacup, made to her specification (weak, lots of milk with a dash of boiling water on top). My mother abused my two sisters but ignored me.
I don’t actually know if this is true, but I will blame it on my mother anyway. It is possible that children of abusive parents develop phobias.These days, however, my sister has allowed her softer side to shine through and her natural kindness is what I notice more and more. My sister regards loyalty as wanting to be in touch. It is not enough for me to go a few months without contact, as I do with some of my best friends. Even now I have to remember that my sister values certain things such as regular phone calls, constant contact and remembering birthdays. It took us a long time to reconcile our feelings about the subject. We had a rocky time when my mother died because my sister was, understandably, relieved that she was gone, but she was my mother and I didn’t know how I was supposed to react. She has a hard exterior that protects her because of the past abuse from my mother. My middle sister won’t let anyone into her life unless they have proved their love and loyalty. Children of abusive parents develop a hard exterior.Nowadays, my sister has conquered this fear and is practically intrepid. She would do anything to avoid an argument as it brought up painful memories of the abuse. It is a surprising outcome that the sister that always stood up to my mother then went on to have confrontation issues when she was older. My eldest sister did, but my middle sister did not. She saw them separately and asked them to forgive her. When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, she asked to see my two sisters in hospital. This was because she would never let my mother see her break down or cry in front of her. My middle sister got the worst of my mother’s abuse. Children of abusive parents are afraid of confrontation.She is just five years older than me but has been more like a mum to me than my own mother. My oldest sister is now the nicest person I know. Hence their rooms were always a tip, she did all the housework and struggled to keep up with the washing and cooking. My sister always believed that children should not be used as slave labour and never asked her kids to do any of the household chores. They would have two pages of chores to do, I would have about half a page, my brother, who was an epileptic, would be told to ‘take his tablet’. My mother would dole out lists of chores to my two sisters. When my older sister went on to have her own children, she went completely against my own mother’s rules. Children of abusive parents can become complete opposites of their abusers.She would never raise her voice in disagreement and would be the one who always went along with other people’s plans. Later on in her life, my sister became known as a people pleaser. Bear in mind my mother was abusing her on a daily basis. She would buy presents for her when it wasn’t her birthday, she would do anything for a scrap of attention. Any money she earned would be spent on flowers or chocolates for her.
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